Strength
by alyssa-gibson
Summary: On her way to go out for a date with Beca, Chloe gets raped. How do they deal with the traumatic event?
1. Chapter 1

Chloe finished doing her hair and slung her purse around her shoulder. She was on her way to Baker Hall so she and Beca could go out. The redhead took out her phone and texted Beca.  
 _'On my way'  
'Okey dokey, can't wait :)'_  
Chloe smiled and left her dorm. It was dark outside but she knew the campus well enough to get around. She cut across the grassy area to get there faster because walking alone at night freaked her out. Chloe's heart started to race as she heard people laughing. Was she being paranoid or was it real? She took the speed of her walking up a notch, just wanting to get to Beca's dorm and be with the brunette. She kept hearing the laughter and started to hear footsteps. The redhead turned around and saw three boys running at her.

"Shit," she whispered to herself. She had really wished she hadn't gotten rid of her rape whistle as a freshman. Chloe started to run, hopefully getting away from the boys but one grabbed her arm—tight.

They started dragging her, Chloe kicking and punching at them, her calls for help going unanswered. The boys dragged her behind the science building and pushed her down. Two of the boys held her down while the other ripped off Chloe's top. Tears were rolling down the redhead's cheeks, "Stop! Stop, please!" she begged.

The boys kept laughing, like they were just having some normal fun. Chloe was scared, she was shaking as she tried to break free from the boys.

The one who ripped her shirt was now unbuttoning her jeans, sliding them roughly down her legs. Chloe clamped her eyes shut as the boy spoke, "You're not going to prefer girls after this."

Her head was pounding, she didn't know who these boys were, she was scared to death, and the constant ringing of her phone in her pocket was somehow becoming very comforting. Tears made their way out of Chloe's closed eyes, as she just tried not to focus on what was happening.

* * *

Beca paced back and forth in her dorm room, looking at the clock, 9:02. Chloe was an hour late and she hasn't answered 47 of the brunette's phone calls. Beca was so worried she thought her heart was going to explode. She just kept calling and calling, hoping the redhead would answer. Beca dialed Chloe and put the phone to her ear for the 48th time, it rang twice before it was answered.

"Beca..." Chloe had finally answered; her voice was low and shaky.

"Oh my god, Chloe! Where are you?!" Beca asked.

"Science building... Come get me... Please."

"I'll be right there," the brunette said, hanging up and rushing out of her dorm.

Beca ran to the Science building, and she was about to go inside when she heard crying. "Chloe?!"

"Beca..."

The brunette went around the side of the building and saw Chloe crawled in a ball, shaking on the ground, her clothes scattered and torn. Beca's heart immediately jumped into her throat. She kneeled down next to her and wrapped her arms around her.

"Baby, what happened?" Her voice was shaky like Chloe's was on the phone.

The redhead didn't answer, she just cried harder into Beca's arms. Beca took off her jacket and put it on Chloe, getting her jeans from the ground and putting them back on her. Beca held Chloe close as she noticed the bruises on her arms, thighs, and face. Beca grabbed her phone and called Campus Police, telling them her girlfriend had gotten raped and they needed an ambulance.

Beca helped Chloe up, and they walked to the front to the building, sitting down on the steps. They sat together, Chloe crying and Beca eventually having tears form in her own eyes.

A half an hour passed by the time Campus Police showed up with an ambulance. Beca stood enraged.

"Are you fucking kidding? It took you 30 minutes to get here after my girlfriend got raped! Look at her! She needs help! Where the fuck have you been?" the brunette yelled.

The officer ignored Beca's yelling and walked over to Chloe, "I need you to tell me what happened."

"Can you get her some medical help first, a rape kit, something? Her legs are bleeding!"

The officer sighed and nodded, holding a hand out for Chloe. Beca got in front of him and grabbed Chloe's hand herself, helping her into the ambulance. The EMT inside sat across from Beca and Chloe, and he was definitely nicer than the Campus Police officer.

"Uh... I know you probably won't want to, but I need to see you legs so..." he trailed off.

A tear fell from Chloe's face, her looking away from Beca and the man. Beca spoke up,

"Well can we stop at her dorm first so I can get her some clothes, I'm sure if she's wearing shorts it will be easier to look at her legs..."

"I can live with that, what dorm?"

"Thank you," Beca smiled, telling him the dorm.

When the man driving the ambulance stopped in front of Chloe's dorm, Beca took Chloe's keys from her purse and kissed her on the cheek. "I'll be right back, two seconds, promise."

Chloe nodded and Beca jumped out of the vehicle, running into the building. She opened the door, grabbed a long-sleeved shirt, a pair of shorts, a pair of sweatpants, and a sweater, running back outside. She gave Chloe the stack of clothing and the EMT got out of the ambulance so Chloe could change.

Once she was done, everyone sat in the seats they were in originally and they made their way to the hospital. The EMT wiped the blood from Chloe's thighs and from the cut on her arm.

"My name is Arthur by the way; can I ask your name?"

Beca looked at Chloe, awaiting her answer. The only thing she had said pretty much was "Beca" and "come get me" so she was wondering if the redhead was comfortable speaking yet.

"It's Chloe," she said just barely above a whispered.

"That's a pretty name, and what about your girlfriend here? What's hers?" Arthur asked with a smile.

"Beca," she said, this time louder, tightening her grip on Beca's hand.

"Also pretty," he smiled at Beca, then took out a small bottle of clear liquid, a pill, and bottle of water. "This is witchhazel, put it on the bruises to make them go away faster, and this... I don't know if you'll want to take it, it's Plan B."

Chloe immediately took the pill from him, swallowing it with a gulp of water. They pulled up in front of the hospital and Arthur helped Chloe and Beca out. "They'll take care of you here," he said.

Beca thanked him again, and went inside with Chloe's hand still tightly in hers. Arthur told the doctor standing there what had happened and she nodded and walked over to the girls. She had red hair, a little lighter than Chloe's, and green eyes.

"Hi, my name is Dr. Jocelynn Pierce, what's yours?" the woman asked with a small smile.

"Chloe Beale," she responded, at a normal volume.

Dr. Pierce wrote down Chloe's name on her clipboard, "Alright, if you come with me I'm going to give you a rape kit, see if the person who did this to you left a trace behind."

"People," Chloe corrected.

"What?"

"There were three of them," she said, more tears forming in her eyes.

Beca didn't think her heart could ache more. Her girlfriend was gang raped on her way to meet her. What kind of assholes would do that? And what was she that she wasn't there to protect her?

Dr. Pierce lead Chloe and Beca down the hall and into a room with a chair kind of like the one you see in the dentist's office. She asked Chloe to remove her clothing and tie on a hospital gown. After the doctors left the room, she did as she was told, sitting in the chair. The brunette leaned on the edge of the chair as the doctor returned so she could look Chloe in the eyes and block her view of the nurses and doctors at the same time.

"Don't even worry about it," Beca said as Chloe tried to look passed her.

The redhead nodded, tears forming in her eyes. "Don't cry baby, please, it's okay."

Chloe wiped her face and nodded again. Beca kept a hand in Chloe's and a hand on her cheek until they were done.

They let Chloe put her clothes back on and told her to sign some papers before she was able to leave. Once she did everything she was told, she left the hospital with Beca.

The brunette held her hand as they walked outside. Chloe seemed well collected, but Beca was still kind of antsy.

"Chlo..."

At the sound of her name, the redhead burst into tears. Beca felt the panic in her chest. She had no idea what her girlfriend had just gone through, no idea how to calm her. She did the only thing she knew to. Beca wrapped her arms around the redhead, pulling her head into her neck.

"I'm gonna call my dad to pick us up okay?" Beca said. Chloe nodded, releasing a sob as she did so.

"You want me to stay with you tonight or...?"

"Stay."

Beca nodded and called her dad. The girls sat outside the hospital, Chloe's head on Beca's shoulder, the redhead still crying.

"Chloe, you're gonna throw up. Take a deep breath."

She did as she was told through her sobs. She kept taking deep breaths until she got her breathing back under control. Beca rubbed her back until she shook her off. The girls sat there for another moment before Beca's dad pulled up in front of them. The brunette helped Chloe up and into the backseat of the car. She got in behind her and made quick eye contact with her father before he turned back around and drove away from the hospital.

Once they got to Chloe's dorm building, the girls got out of the car when Beca got called back.

"If you guys need anything, call me. Okay?" he said.

"Yeah, I will. Thanks."

"No problem, and I'll get her excused from the rest of her classes this week and maybe next week but I'll see, so don't let her worry."

"Okay, thank you."

He drove away and Chloe and Beca went inside up to Chloe's dorm room. They walked inside and Chloe was still crying but not nearly as hard as before. A few tears were falling down her cheeks. The redhead crawled into bed with her sweatpants and sweater still on, pulling her sheets up to her chin. Beca kneeled down in front of the bed and wiped the tears from her face.

"Don't cry, please. You're safe here; you have nothing to worry about anymore… I can't imagine what that must have been like for you, and I'm sorry I couldn't be there to protect you, but crying isn't going to make it go away baby. You're too beautiful to have tears all over your face. Please, take a deep breath and try to go to sleep. We can talk about it in the morning or not if you don't want to..."

Chloe nodded and wiped the rest of her tears. She took a couple of deep breaths and closed her eyes as her breaths slowed. Beca sighed and kissed Chloe on the forehead, getting into bed next to her. She laid there for a moment before the redhead grabbed her hand and pulled it against her body. Beca gave it a small squeeze and closed her eyes, trying to hold back her own tears.


	2. Chapter 2

It was two weeks after the assault and Beca was worried. Chloe hadn't left her dorm at all after she got back from the hospital. She was skipping classes, meals, showers, and she rarely answered her phone. Beca had to do something because Chloe couldn't keep ditching class and she couldn't bring her breakfast, lunch, and dinner forever.

The brunette knocked on Aubrey's door and after a moment it opened.

"Help me talk to Chloe, please," Beca asked in more of a plea than a question.  
"Of course," she replied, leaving her dorm with Beca and heading to Chloe's.  
Beca opened the redhead's door and the girl was laying in her bed, like always.  
"Baby, can you get up?" Beca asked.  
Chloe rolled over in the bed to face the girls, "I'm comfortable here."  
"Babe, you can't stay in your bed forever."  
"Yeah. Chloe, you can't let what happened stop you from going to school and living your life," Aubrey said, sitting on the edge of the bed.  
"You are an amazing, beautiful, loving person and nothing will change that," Beca said kneeling next to the bed. "They found two of the guys, and the other one is sure to show up. I got a new rape whistle for you and a lot of kids on campus are helping to get more light around here because of what happened. You'll be safe, I promise you. Just please, get out of bed, go to a class or two, eat something other than ramen noodles, please, get out of this room."  
Chloe had started to cry as Beca spoke and she shook her head, "Everyone knows..."  
"What?" Aubrey asked.  
"They know what happened to me. I can't live with that, that constant shame and embarrassment when people look at me and think about how weak I am, about I let that happen to myself," Chloe replied.  
Beca took the redhead's hand and put it in hers, "Once you start going back to class and living again, you are showing people how strong you are. You were able to overcome what happened. Sitting in your room all day is making you weak, not the fact that it happened..."  
Chloe couldn't stop the tears from falling. She knew Beca was right, but she still didn't want to go outside and have people look and point and talk. She nodded and Beca stood up, kissing her hand.  
"I have a class so I have to go, but I'll bring you Pizza Hut later and you will eat it," Beca said. "Aubrey, feel free to join us."  
"I would love to but I have class then a paper to finish, sorry."  
"It's okay, I'll see you later," the brunette said, giving Chloe a kiss on the head before leaving.  
Aubrey stood up from the bed and started looking through Chloe's drawers.  
"What are you doing?" she asked.  
"Looking for a nice outfit for you to wear later. You've been wearing the same sweatpants and t-shirt for two weeks and you're really grossing me out."  
"Thanks."  
"Just being honest, now c'mon. You're taking a shower," she said pulling on Chloe's hand.  
"No, I don't want to," the redhead whined, pulling her arm back.  
"I don't care, you're taking a shower. You smell, your room smells, and I'm going to throw up if I stay here any longer."  
"Then leave."  
"Dammit Chloe, get up!"  
Chloe sighed and sat up.  
"Now get out of the bed. I will stand outside the stall for you if that makes you feel better."  
Chloe nodded then got out of bed and undressed, putting on her bathrobe. She grabbed her towel and her toiletry bag while Aubrey grabbed the outfit she picked out. Together, they walked to the showers and Aubrey waited outside until the redhead was done.  
"Wow, you smell so much better."  
"Shut up Bree, give me my clothes."  
Chloe dried herself off and got dressed, leaving the showers with the blonde and returning to the girl's dorm. As Chloe started to put her toiletries away, Aubrey started picking up the wrappers and tissues off the floor. She threw them away, and threw all the dirty clothes in the hamper. Chloe sat back down on her bed and Aubrey stopped.  
"No, get up. Do you have another pair of sheets?"  
"Under the bed."  
Chloe got up and got the bag of clean sheets. Aubrey stripped the redhead's bed and put all the dirty blankets in the hamper along with the clothing. She grabbed the Lysol from Chloe's desk and sprayed the bed and the rest of the room, putting it back and getting the new sheets on the mattress.  
Chloe sat back down and looked at Aubrey with a small smile, "Thanks..."  
"No problem, I'm going to do your laundry. You wanna come with me?"  
"Uhm... No. I wanna stay here."  
Aubrey sighed, "Okay. When you're ready..."  
The blonde took Chloe's hamper and left the room. Chloe watched her leave then laid back on her bed, staring at the same ceiling she's been staring at for weeks.

* * *

"You're not going to prefer girls after this."  
"Stop, please!"  
Chloe couldn't close her eyes tighter.  
"Stop!"  
"Let me get some."  
"No, I'm not done."  
"Please, stop..."  
"Shut up!"  
Chloe opened her eyes. His hand was cocked back, ready to collide with her face.  
 **Smack.**  
Chloe's eyes snapped open, jumping in her bed.  
"Whoa, calm down," Beca said. "It's just me... Relax. You're safe."  
Chloe sat up, finding Beca's hand on her cheek. She took a couple deep breaths before her heart beat got back to normal.  
"I didn't mean to scare you, are you okay?" Beca asked.  
Chloe nodded, "Yeah, I'm good... What time is it?"  
"Dinner time. I brought pizza."  
Chloe got out of bed as Beca opened the pizza box on the floor and she looked into the mirror on the wall. She started to stare, looking at her bruised nose and her scratched jaw. Tears started to form in her eyes the more she looked at herself. Her hair was done and she was dressed for the first time in two weeks, but all she could see was the weakness in herself.  
Beca looked up at her from the floor and she couldn't help but feel guilty. Chloe was assaulted and she wasn't there to stop it, protect her. She should've gone to get her. She should've asked her to go to lunch, not dinner. She should've been there for her.  
"Chloe, don't cry, please."  
"I can't help it," she replied, starting to sob.  
Beca grabbed her hand and pulled her down onto the floor. She pulled her head into her shoulder as the redhead cried. Tears started to fall down Beca's cheeks as well. Chloe cried into her for about five minutes before calming down.  
"What happened to you was not fair," the brunette started. "But we can't let it ruin your life."  
Beca brushed the hair out of the redhead's face and wiped her tears. She caressed her cheek until she lifted her head from her shoulder.  
"I'm gonna go to class tomorrow..."  
"Really?"  
Chloe nodded, "Yeah."  
"One or all of them?"  
"Well I have two tomorrow so I'll just go to both."  
"Good, that's a step forward," Beca smiled.  
The redhead nodded again, "Uhm... what kind of pizza did you get?"  
"What else would I get? Pepperoni with black olives but only on half because those are disgusting and I don't know how you eat them."  
Chloe laughed, "They're good, you're just crazy."  
"Yeah, okay," Beca smirked, opening the box.  
The girls sat on the floor and talked for longer than they had in a long time, eating the entire pie as they did so. After it was gone, Beca smashed up the box and put next to Chloe's garbage. The redhead got up and laid down on the bed. She looked at Beca and patted the empty area next to her. She laid down next to her and interlocked their fingers.  
"Can you stay here tonight?" Chloe asked.  
"I have an eight o'clock class and I don't have clothes here..."  
"You left your overall shorts here so I washed them for you, you can borrow a shirt."  
Beca smiled, "Thanks."  
"No problem... Beca?"  
"Hmm."  
"I love you."  
"I love you too," she replied, kissing the redhead's hand.  
They laid in silence for a while before Chloe got up. She took off her shirt and put on a t-shirt from the drawer, then removing her jeans to put on sweatpants.  
"Lemme get a t-shirt Chlo?"  
She nodded and tossed Beca a shirt that was kind of big on her. The brunette stripped down and threw the shirt on, folding her clothes and putting them at the foot of the bed. Chloe crawled under the covers, Beca getting in next to her. The redhead put her hand on Beca's thigh and pulled her closer.  
"Your leg is really soft..." Chloe whispered.  
"I shaved this morning," Beca laughed.  
"Oh..."  
"Goodnight baby, I love you," the brunette smiled, kissing Chloe's shoulder.  
"Night..."

* * *

Beca was awoken suddenly as she felt Chloe jumping over her in the bed. She sat up and saw Chloe leaning over the garbage.  
"Shit," she whispered to herself, throwing the covers off of her.  
She ran over to Chloe and held the girl's hair back as she threw up into the can. After her second upchuck, she took a deep breath then letting out a deep sigh.  
"You okay?" Beca asked.  
"Well, my stomach doesn't hurt anymore."  
"Why didn't you tell me it hurt?"  
Chloe shrugged and Beca spoke again, "It was probably the pizza."  
"You're not sick though."  
"Yeah, but the most you've eaten in the last two weeks was a half a bowl of ramen noodles so you're not used to eating four slices of pizza. That's a lot."  
"True..."  
"You good now?"  
"Yeah, I'm just gonna go brush my teeth and come back. Go back to sleep."  
"You sure?"  
"Yeah, I didn't wanna wake you but I also didn't want to puke on you."  
"Well I'm glad you chose waking me rather than pulling an Aubrey," Beca smiled.  
Chloe laughed, "That's mean."  
"You know I'm right, but go brush your teeth so you can come lay back down."  
The redhead nodded with a yawn and stood up, getting her toothbrush and entering the bathroom. Beca sighed and checked the time, 2:16am. She rubbed her eyes and took the bag out of the garbage can, putting it in another bag and tossing it out of the window into the dumpster–literally the only good thing about having it so close was not having to walk far, or walk at all. She got back into the bed and closed her eyes, waiting for Chloe to get back.  
She finally heard the door open and close again. She opened one eye and watched the redhead get back into bed, snuggling against her.  
"Are you gonna be okay with going to class tomorrow?" Beca asked.  
"Yeah. Did you set an alarm for your morning class? I need to get up at the same time."  
"Yup, you're good."  
"Alright... Goodnight again."  
Beca laughed, "Night."  
They both closed their eyes and fell asleep for the second time that night, the slight feeling of normality returning.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm sooooo sorry this took so long. I had most of it finished so I thought I was good posting chapter two then I got crazy writers block. But this chapter is really long so I hope it makes up for the wait!**

* * *

Chloe sat in her Russian Literature class tapping her pencil on her thigh. She was trying to focus but it was hard, especially because all the professor did was talk and talk and talk in the super annoying voice he had. The redhead looked over to her left and made eye contact with a girl in her class, the girl quickly looking away. People had been staring at her the whole day and it was making her extremely uncomfortable. She glanced around the room and noticed two boys to her right looking over at her and whispering. Chloe looked down at her lap and tried to blink back the tears that were starting to form in her eyes.  
She took a deep breath and sat playing with the hem of her shirt for the remaining twenty minutes of the class. Once the lecture was over she practically ran out of the room and to the library because she knew Beca would be there.  
Chloe walked inside the campus library and looked around for Beca, spotting her sitting at a table with her headphones on. She went over to the table and sat next to the brunette.  
"Hey baby," Beca smiled, taking her headphones off. Her smiled quickly faded when she saw the tears in her eyes. "What's wrong?"  
"I can't do this Beca. Everyone keeps staring at me and whispering!"  
"Chlo, calm down. It will blow over, I promise."  
"When?!" she yelled.  
"Shhhhhh! Take a deep breath Chloe," Beca said as Chloe did so. "Okay, now, everyone will get over it soon enough. You can't let it get to you."  
"I can't help it..."  
"You have to try baby... Actually, are you busy the rest of the day?"  
"What?"  
"Do you have any other classes?"  
"Yes, but... I'll do whatever you wanna do."  
"Okay good," Beca smiled. She closed her laptop, put it in her book bag and stood up. "Can I use your car?"  
"Of course."  
The girls got up and Beca led Chloe out of the library. They walked back to Chloe's dorm building and got into the red Nissan.  
"Where are we going?" the redhead asked.  
"I'm not sure yet," she said taking out her phone and pressing a few things before putting it to her ear.

"Hey, are you home? … Sorry, hello, how are you? I miss you so much, I hope you're doing well. Are you home? … You are? Why? … Oh, okay. I'm on my way. … Aw! Really? Yes! I picked the perfect day. … Okay, bye. See you in a little."

Beca hung up the phone and looked back at Chloe.

"Who was that?" the redhead asked.  
"You'll see," Beca smirked, backing out of the parking lot and driving away from Barden.  
The girls were in the car for about twenty five minutes before Chloe figured out where they were going.  
"Are we going to your mom's house?" she asked.  
"Yes we are."  
"Why? Not that I don't like your mom but–"  
"You'll see in like five minutes Chloe."  
Beca drove the rest of the way and pulled into the driveway of her mother's house. They got out and Beca rang the doorbell.  
"Who's car is that?" Chloe asked.  
"Chloe, I swear. We are at the door, you will literally find out in seconds," Beca laughed.  
The door opened and Beca's mother was standing in the doorway.  
"Beca! What are you doing here?" she asked, pulling the girl in for a hug.  
"What? Did Annie not tell you I was coming?"  
"No, come in." Beca and Chloe walked inside the house and into the kitchen. "Hello Chloe, I miss having you two around during winter break, it's so nice to see you again.  
"You too," she smiled.  
"Where's Annie?" Beca asked.  
"Upstairs bathroom. There was a big mess in the Lisi department."  
The brunette laughed, "Of course there was."  
"She'll be down in a minute, go relax in the living room," her mother said.  
Beca and Chloe went into the living room and sat down on the couch. Chloe sat tapping her hands on her knees.  
"What's wrong?" Beca asked.  
"I'm very confused about what is happening."  
Beca just laughed and took the girl's hand. "I love you."  
"I love you too..."  
"Beca!"  
The brunette turned around and smiled at the little girl running towards her. Chloe raised an eyebrow when she saw a woman who looked just like Beca trail behind her.  
Beca stood up and gave the woman a hug. "Chlo, this is my sister Annabel. Annie, this is my girlfriend Chloe."  
"Nice to meet you," Annabel smiled, holding out her hand.  
Chloe took it and shook hands with the woman, but looked up at Beca. "You never told me you had a sister."  
"Well she's my half sister and she's thirteen years older than me. She has a different dad than I do... But this is my niece, Elise," Beca laughed. "I love how that rhymes."  
"You're dumb," Annabel said. "Lisi, can you go give the towel to grandma?"  
The girl nodded and walked into the kitchen with the towel dragging behind her.  
Beca turned so her back was to Chloe. "The reason I came here was to ask if you could talk to Chloe," she whispered.  
"About?"  
"Mom must've not told you… Chloe was raped and she's having a really hard time dealing with it, so I was wondering if you could… ya know."  
"Beca, I–"  
"Please."  
Annabel nodded and Beca turned back to Chloe who looked even more confused than before. Beca laughed and motioned Chloe to sit down. Annabel sat next to her and Beca spoke.  
"I wanted to bring you here because Annie can kinda relate to what you're going through right now, so uhm… I'll leave you two to talk."  
Beca walked into the kitchen and Chloe looked up at Annabel.  
"Beca just told me what happened to you... I'm sorry. But uhm, as you know, Beca is my half sister and the reason my mom and dad split was because uh… You know, I've never told anyone this. Just my mom and Becs, I haven't even told my husband this... but I know what it's like to feel alone. My dad use to let his friends molest me when I was younger. It started when I was seven and stopped when I was almost eleven. He said he would hurt me if I told anyone but as I got older I couldn't take it anymore so when my mom and I were at the store, I told her and uh... we never went home that day. We went to the police station but they couldn't charge anyone because 'there was no proof'. Sucks, huh? But my mom filed a restraining order against him and we moved from New York to Georgia. My mom met Beca's dad, they got married, had Becs, and everything seemed great until he cheated on her and they split. So me and Bec both have messed up dads... But my point was that those three and a half years were the worst years of my life. I even thought about ending everything a couple times but it gets better. I'm 31 years old now, with a beautiful daughter and wonderful husband that I can't imagine my life without. It gets better Chloe, it does."  
"How did you get through it?"  
"I kept a diary... that really helped. I just wrote down how I was feeling each day and it made me realize that what I felt was real and I wasn't crazy or dumb for feeling that way."  
Chloe nodded, that would be a good idea to help get out of her head. Hearing someone else talk about what they went through was comforting.  
"You wanna talk about what happened to you?" Annie asked.  
"Uhm..."  
"You should, it actually helped get some of the weight off my shoulders. I mean, you don't have to if you're not ready, but I'd suggest it..."  
"Yeah, okay, uh... So what do I say?" Chloe asked.  
"Just tell me what you were doing that day and how you felt throughout the day."  
"Okay, so I had class that morning so everything was normal. I had breakfast in the dining hall then went to my Russian Lit. class. I had lunch, Bella's practice, then another class. All that stuff is pretty routine for me. I love Bella's practice because I get to see Beca," she smiled. "She asked if I wanted to go to dinner and of course I said yes, so we were gonna go at eight. I texted her that I was on my way to her dorm and as I walked over..."  
"Take your time."  
Chloe took a deep breath and started again, "I was walking over to her dorm when I got chased down and grabbed by three guys. They pushed me behind a building and gang raped me."  
That was the first time Chloe had ever said it out loud. It was hard but it was kind of a relief. She felt like a slight weight was lifted off her shoulders.

"What were some of your first thoughts when you realized what was about to happen?" Annabel asked.

"Well I immediately regretted throwing away my Barden rape whistle," she chuckled.

Annabel laughed, "Beca told me about those, I gotta remind her to keep hers on her."

"Yeah, that would've been a big help... but uhm, I was scared, I mean what else would I be thinking about?"

"You had to have been thinking of something."

"I don't know, I-"

"Chloe, what were you thinking about?"

The redhead sighed, "I was thinking about... Beca, and how worried she must've been about me and how I wished she was with me, I wished I wasn't alone..." A tear fell from her cheek as she continued to speak. "I thought about the pain I was in and how I would've prefered to have still been in the abusive relationship I was in when I was in high school than to be there. I would've given anything to be anywhere but there."

Annabel pulled Chloe into her arms and held her tightly.

"That's enough for now," the woman said, rubbing Chloe's back. "C'mon, let's get those tears wiped up and your make up fixed because you're too beautiful for that."

The redhead wiped her cheek and smiled, "You have the same way of reassuring people as Beca does."

"Really? I never noticed that."

"You two have a lot in common. You practically look like twins, your mom must have some really strong genes because the three of you look insanely alike."

Annabel laughed, "I'm glad to hear that. C'mon, I'll help you fix your make up."

Chloe got up and followed the brunette to the upstairs bathroom. Annabel dried Chloe's tears and wiped the smudged mascara from under her eyes. She opened the medicine cabinet and took out a tube of mascara and a black eyeliner.

"Here, I'll be downstairs."

"Thank you," Chloe said taking them.

Annabel left and Chloe redid her eyeliner and mascara. She knew she should've worn the waterproof one. The redhead looked at herself in the mirror and sighed. She tied her hair up in a messy bun and washed her face, returning downstairs.

No one was in the living room so she went into the kitchen and saw Beca's mother and Annabel sitting at the island.

Annabel smiled, "You're gorgeous Chloe, with or without make up."

"Thanks... Where's Beca?"

"Down here!" Beca said, raising her arm behind the countertop.

Chloe walked around the island and smiled at her girlfriend on the floor with Elise, two cups in between them.

"Lisi, can you show Chloe what I taught you?" Beca asked.

The girl smiled brightly with a nod. She started making a familiar beat with the cup and as she continued it, Beca started to sing.

When they finished Chloe's smile was brighter than before, "That was great! I still don't even know how to do that, Beca tried teaching me like four times."

"You know the lyrics to the song though so that's a plus," Beca winked.

"True," she laughed.

"Are you two staying for dinner?" Beca's mom asked.

"Yeah," he brunette responded.

"I'll help you make dinner," Chloe said.

"I'll help too," Beca added.

"I help with dinner Beca. That's my job, back off," Annabel sneered.

"Are you kidding?"

"No. Mom, tell her."

"Annie, seriously?" their mother said.

"What? I always help you with dinner!" she exclaimed.

"I'll tell you what, you three make dinner yourselves and I'll take Lisi to the park. Sound good?"

"What?" Beca said.

"Mom-"

"Okay, great! I'll see you three in an hour. Come on Lisi."

Beca's mother grabbed Lisi's hand and left the house, leaving the girls alone in the kitchen.

"Well then, you better help now that you made Mom leave," Annabel said.

"That was the point of me telling her I was going to help!" Beca yelled.

"Whatever, you're dumb."

"I'm dumb? You could've just let me and Chlo help Mom, but no."

"Are you kidding me Rebeca? Let it go."

"Whatever Annabel," Beca replied in a mocking tone, rolling her eyes.

Annabel opened the refrigerator, "I think she was going to make baked ziti... You two boil the pasta and make some salad and I'll do the rest."

"Fine, I'll be right back," Beca said, leaving the kitchen.

"Is she always that stubborn?" Annabel asked.

Chloe shrugged, "You know how I said you two have a lot in common? I'll be right back."

She left the kitchen and went into the living room, when she didn't find Beca in the living room she went up the stairs. The redhead walked down the hall and into the brunette's old room. She found her sitting on the bed, a pillow on her lap.

"You okay?" Chloe asked.

"Yeah, I've had way worse fights than that. I'm fine. What about you? How was your talk?"

She sighed, "Helpful."

"Good... C'mon, let's help make dinner," Beca said, standing up and taking Chloe's hand, then walking down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Beca walked over to Annabel and sighed, "I'm sorry..."

"Me too. It's rough when you have a sister as stubborn as I am," the brunette said, giving Chloe a small smile.

"We're good?" Beca asked.

"Yeah. Now let's make some food before mom comes back to nothing," she laughed.

Beca nodded and the women started to prepare the meal. After a half hour, the salad was done and the ziti was in the oven. They all sat down at the island in the kitchen after they cleaned the mess they had made.

"So, how long have you two been together?" Annabel asked.

"Uhm, it's been eight months," Beca replied.

"How'd you meet? Tell me the story of your relationship," Annie smiled.

"What, why?" Beca asked.

"Because I wanna know what my little sister's love life is like now that she finally found someone that makes her happy."

Chloe laughed, "We met at the activities fair at Barden."

"I need details."

"Okay, I'll tell you the story because Beca won't tell you the whole thing. So Aubrey and I were trying to get girls to auditions for the Bellas and I suggested that we ask Beca to join. When I asked she totally shut down a capella, swearing it was lame and she didn't sing. So obviously I was let down because she was one of the prettiest girls I've ever seen. So it was like a month later and auditions were that week. I was in the showers when I heard someone singing."

"You left out a part of that Chloe," Beca said.

"I already know what you're going to say and that's irrelevant to the story–"

"She was in the shower with her boyfriend," Beca added.

"What?" Annabel said, shocked. "That is completely relevant."

"Thank you."

"Whatever," Chloe said. "I was in the shower with my on-again, off-again boyfriend from high school. He ended up going to Barden too–"

"Is that the boyfriend that–" Annabel started.

"No, hell no."

"Wait, what?" Beca asked.

"Nothing, let me finish the story!" Chloe exclaimed. "Okay so, I heard her singing and I went towards the sound. When I found it, I asked her to audition."

"What?! You swear that's how it went!" Beca yelled. "This crazy woman I met once, opened the curtain to my shower when I was naked and wouldn't leave until I sang with her, admitting things I will not say aloud. Then after I finally sang with her to make her leave, her boyfriend came and complimented my voice!"

"While you were still naked?"

"Yes!"

"Becs, you were covered by the curtain. He didn't even see you."

"So? He was in my shower!"

"Whatever, so I went in her shower and told her to audition. When the big day came I sat through so many horrible auditions it wasn't funny. When they were over I was really disappointed because Beca didn't show."

"Why didn't you go?" Annabel asked.

"I did!"

"Let me finish!" Chloe yelled. "Auditions were over and Beca didn't show, but I saw her standing in the wing and let her audition. She didn't even know the audition song," the redhead laughed.

"How was I supposed to know?"

"Well if you would've taken my flier at the activities fair–"

"True, you're right."

"Okay, so Beca ended up auditioning with the cup song and I was so in love. Aubrey didn't like how different she was, she didn't fit the 'Bella image' so she didn't want her, but I convinced her to take her."

"Thanks babe," Beca winked.

"You're welcome. So five days later we had the pledging into the Bellas and right after was aca-initiation night, it's like a party for the four a capella groups."

"Chloe can't hold her liquor," Beca informed. "So she got drunk faster than anyone I've ever seen."

"Hey, I... can't think of a valid argument. But whatever, you tell from this point on because it's not the clearest of parts in the story for me."

Beca laughed, "Okay, Chloe came up to me and we started talking for a while. Then she left to go drink and dance or whatever while I chilled. I didn't know anyone and I didn't want to be there but I had to so I stayed. Once everyone started leaving I saw Chloe sitting on the ground so I went over to check if she was alright. She was trashed so I walked her back to her dorm."

"I remember this part," Chloe chimed in. "We talked for a little outside and then Beca just kissed me. I don't know why or what happened but I know she kissed me."

"You took advantage of the drunk girl?" Annabel asked.

"No! She told me to!"

"She told you to kiss her?"

"Oh yeah, she's right. I did."

"You have to understand, Chloe is the biggest flirt. If anything she took advantage of me."

"Yeah okay, let's not get ahead of ourselves there," the redhead said. "So I told her to kiss me and she did then after that we didn't talk for like a week. I think she felt bad because I was fuzzy about that night or something. But after Bellas rehearsals one day I asked her if I could walk to the dining hall with her and she agreed so we talked more and by that point I was already like completely crushing on her so that time I kissed her."

"Then I asked her out and we starting hanging out like every day," Beca said. "That's pretty much it."

"You guys are so cute and young," Annabel smiled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Beca asked.

Before Annabel could speak the oven timer went off. The woman got up and took the ziti out of the oven. As she was placing it on top of the stove, the door opened and Beca's mother and Elise walked inside.

"Perfect timing," Annabel said as they walking into the kitchen.

"I'm impressed, you three got everything done."

"Why are you impressed that we can cook dinner?" Beca asked.

"It's not that, it's the fact that you two are always at each other's throats. I'm impressed no one is hurt or dying," their mother laughed.

"Very funny," Beca said sarcastically.

"Well I'm starving so let's get this all on the table."

Everyone helped set up the table and the family ate dinner without any arguments. They spent the rest of the evening talking and entertaining Elise. By nine o'clock the girls decided they were going to get back on campus so they got their things together and started their goodbyes.

"Bye Mom," Beca said, giving the woman a hug.

"Thank you for coming, both of you. I miss you girls so much, visit more often, okay?"

"We will, okay, I gotta get Chloe back. She has a class in the morning," the brunette said.

Beca turned to her sister and said goodbye to her and Elise as Chloe said goodbye to their mother. The redhead then turned to Annabel and smiled.

"Thank you for talking with me," she said.

"Thank _you_ for letting me get it out. If you ever need to talk, call me," the brunette smiled, giving Chloe a hug.

"I will." She turned to Beca's niece with a smile, "You're gonna have to teach me the cup song one day because I'm sure you're a better teacher than Beca."

The little girl laughed with a nod, "Okay, next time."

"Thanks, see ya soon," Chloe said, kissing the girl on the top of the head.

"You ready?" Beca asked.

Chloe nodded and the girls left the house. After they got into Chloe's car and Beca pulled out if the driveway, Chloe opened her mouth to speak and then stopped. She let Beca drive for a while before talking.

"Beca?"

"Yeah?"

"Why didn't you tell me you had a sister?"

"I don't know, it never came up I guess..."

Chloe didn't continue with the topic. How could the fact that she had a sibling never come up? She had been to her mother's house before, how had she not noticed pictures? It was weird but Chloe decided it was best to let it go, she didn't need any more stress on her plate. Plus the conversation she had was helpful so the redhead figured finding out was just for the best for the current situation.

Beca glanced over at Chloe. She could tell the redhead was upset that she didn't know about Annabel. Beca didn't know why she never told her, but family just brought up bad memories for her. It's not that she doesn't love her family, but she had a rough childhood so living in the present is something she tries to focus on doing.

They got back to Barden and Beca parked Chloe's car in the parking lot. The girls got out of the car and Beca spoke.

"You want me to stay with you?" the brunette asked.

Chloe shook her head, "No, I'm fine. Thank you though. Today was fun."

"No problem, I love you," she replied, giving the redhead a kiss.

"I love you, I'll see you tomorrow. We can get lunch, okay?"

Beca nodded, "Okay, see you..."

The brunette watched Chloe walk into her dorm building, turning around and walking away once she was inside. As she walked back to her own dorm, she started to feel worse and worse about not telling Chloe. They were together for a long time, she should've told her.

She sighed and decided to just shake it off. She would see how Chloe was doing in the morning and continue with her day. The only thing that mattered was the fact that the conversation with Annabel really seemed to help the redhead so Beca didn't care what happened next, as long as Chloe wasn't beating herself up over what happened. All she wanted was for her girlfriend to feel confident, open, happy… normal again.

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 **I apologize for the weird spacing, I hate the format of this website..**

 **Don't forget to review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Yerrr so it's been like three years or whateva, but I'm back and I'm betta. Tryna finish my incomplete stories for y'all. Literally just finished this rn and I'm gonna keep going tmm. Happy to be back, make sure to share, follow, fav, and review :)**

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It's been two weeks since Chloe started keeping the diary Annabel suggested. The redhead felt like it really helped her get her head back on straight. She had been paranoid and doubtful about herself, but that was all starting to go away. Chloe was having a really good day, one of the best since the assault. She had gotten the cutest good morning text from Beca, she went to breakfast with Aubrey, Bella's rehearsals went fabulously, and Beca asked her out to dinner. How could it get any better?

The redhead walked into her Renaissance and Reformation class and sat down. The TA started passing back the papers they had written last week and Chloe was shocked when she got hers back. There was a circled 'F' on the top of the front page. Chloe hadn't failed a paper in that class ever, how could this one not have passed?

The redhead sat through the lecture and went up to her professor after class.

"Excuse me, Professor James, can I ask why I got an F on this paper?"

"Can I ask you why you haven't dropped the charges?" he replied.

Chloe stopped, she felt her heart drop into her stomach "... What?"

"It's been a month and you haven't dropped the charges. Drop them or else you're failing this class," he said firmly.

The redhead's heart was beating twenty times faster than normal, "You?"

"You say anything and I'll make sure you never graduate from here, understand? Drop the charges and I'll change your grade. See you on Thursday Ms. Beale," he said, leaving the room.

A tear fell down Chloe's cheek and she took a deep breath. She stood still for a while before she turned around and left the classroom. She walked all the way to her dorm, ignoring everyone who came up to ask if she was okay, tears still falling down her cheeks. When she got into her room she locked the door behind her and sat on her bed.

How could this happen? She was finally starting to get better and now... this? It couldn't be him, not her professor. She could've sworn there was three boys... Wouldn't she have noticed if someone she saw almost every day was raping her? The more she thought about it, she realized she never really saw all their faces, only two were visible to her. How could that be?

Chloe stared at the wall across from her, she felt her lip start to quiver and with that she started to sob. She didn't know what she could do at this point. She couldn't tell anyone, no. She _needed_ to graduate. Should she just tell someone? Of course, why wouldn't she? But who would believe her? Would she just look like a paranoid, traumatized girl who was looking for closure? She didn't know what to do.

The redhead couldn't stop crying. What was the point anymore? Chloe sighed and got up, getting the razor from her toiletry bag. She popped out one of the blades and held it, her hands shaking.

"What am I doing?" she said to herself, still crying.

She couldn't deal with any of it anymore. She was trying so hard to get over it but every time she took a step forward something would push her back. She was raped for what? Liking girls? Beca was the first girl she had ever really been with, but she knew she loved her... or she thought she knew. She sighed and shook her head, putting the blade to her wrist.

"Damn it, Chloe," she whispered.

A tear fell on to her wrist and she took the blade and pushed it into her skin, dragging it across her arm. The blood surprised the redhead a little, seeing as it was way more than the other times and it had been years since then, but it didn't stop her from going for the other wrist.

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Beca sat at the desk in her dorm, trying to finish a mix for Chloe but she couldn't remember one of the songs she had requested. She tapped her fingers along the edge of the table before picking up the phone and dialing the redhead's number. The phone rang and rang, but Chloe didn't answer.

Beca started to panic. The last time Chloe didn't answer the phone she was getting attacked. The brunette immediately got up and headed to her girlfriend's dorm, dialing the number again and again and again.

When she finally got to her dorm she knocked on the door, "Chloe? Babe, are you in there?"

No answer. Beca called the girl another time and furrowed her eyebrows when she heard the girl's ringtone through the door. Chloe never went anywhere without her phone so she was definitely inside the room. She tried the handle but it was locked.

"Chloe?" she yelled, panicked.

Beca ran down the hall to Aubrey's room and banged on the door until the blonde swung the door open.

"What?!"

"You have Chloe's room key right?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah why?"

"I need it, hurry!"

"What? Why? What's going on?" Aubrey asked.

"I don't know! Hurry up, Aubrey!"

"Okay, okay," she said, grabbing the key and handing it to Beca, following the girl back down the hall.

Beca unlocked the door and almost fainted.

"Fuck, Aubrey call 9-1-1."

"Oh my God..."

"Aubrey! Call for help!" Beca yelled, tears already formed in her eyes.

Blood was all over the bed and Chloe was passed out on top of it. Beca ran over to the redhead and checked for her pulse. It took her a few moments to find, but it was there.

"Thank God..." she whispered to herself.

She ripped the bedsheet and wrapped it around Chloe's wrists as tight as she could. Beca put her hand on the girl's cheek and tried to wake her up.

"Chloe... Wake up, baby, please," the brunette begged, tears falling down her face. "Don't die on me, you can't die on me."

"They're sending an ambulance," Aubrey said, trying to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

At this point there was a crowd standing behind Aubrey outside the door, everyone trying to see inside the room. Beca looked at all the people outside and then back to Chloe and couldn't help the wave of nausea that overcame her. She grabbed the trash can from the side of Chloe's bed and started to hurl into it. After her third upchuck, she looked back at Chloe and blacked out.

She only woke up to the feel of someone's hands on her. She opened her eyes and saw an EMT standing over her. She immediately shook him off and moved him over to Chloe.

"I don't need help, help her!"

"You were unconscious-"

"I'm fine, it was just the shock. Help her!"

They had already started to put Chloe on a stretcher, rolling her out of the room. Beca and Aubrey pushed passed the people in the halls to clear the way for the paramedics with the stretcher. The brunette jumped in the ambulance after Chloe and Aubrey ran to her car, starting the ignition and following the sirened vehicle.

Beca stared at Chloe's unconscious body, oxygen mask covering half her face. Tears would stop running down her face. How was it that she was in another ambulance with the redhead for the second time in less than a month? Her heart was racing and her breathing was getting faster, soon becoming hard to get the air in.

The paramedic in the back put an oxygen mask over Beca's face, taking the girl by surprise.

"You were hyperventilating, keep thee mask on and take deep breaths," he said.

Beca nodded and did as she was told. After a couple minutes they got to the hospital and Beca ripped the mask off her face, getting ready to get out after Chloe. The paramedics carried the stretcher out of the ambulance and rolled Chloe into the emergency room.

Aubrey just parked her car and ran after the group as a nurse held her and Beca back in the waiting room. "You can't go in passed here, I'm sorry."

Beca still has tears running down her face while Aubrey's tears had dried on her face.

"I have to call her parents..." Beca said, staring at the floor.

"Good idea," Aubrey said, sitting down. She looked like she was about to puke.

Beca walked out the doors of the ER waiting room to go outside. She took her phone out from her pocket and went into her contacts to call Chloe's mom. The phone call only lasted for about two minutes before Chloe's mom panicked and hung up, saying she was on her way. Beca paced back and forth outside and the finally picked up the phone again and dialed a number she knew by heart.

"Hello?"

"Annabel..."

"Beca? What's wrong?"

She didn't say anything. She didn't even know what to say if she could.

"Rebecca..." Annabel said in a more serious tone. "It's late and you're not saying anything. What's wrong sweetie?"

"I'm in the emergency room..."

"What? What happened? Are you okay?"

"Not for me... Chloe..."

"Okay, I'm coming. You're in Grady?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, I'll be there as soon as I can."

Beca hung up the phone and paced back and forth a couple more times before going back inside. She sat down next to Aubrey and bounced her fingers on her knees. What seemed like seconds later, Chloe's mom ran into the waiting room. She saw Beca and Aubrey and immediately came up to them asking for what happened.

"She wasn't answering my calls and I got worried so I went to her dorm and heard her phone ringing through the door so I called Aubrey to unlock the door and she was just laying there... in a giant puddle of blood... I don't know what happened. She seemed fine; she just started going back to class again; we got lunch this afternoon; she was writing her feelings down in a little journal; she seemed happier finally," Beca rambled.

Chloe's mom pulled Beca into her chest and wrapped her arms around the girl, bringing her rambling to a stop. They both started to cry as they stood there. Chloe's mom pulled away from the hug and sat down where Beca was sitting before next to Aubrey. Beca sat on the other side of the woman. They sat there in silence for a minute before the redhead's mother grabbed one of each of Beca and Aubrey's hands and put them in her lap. The three sat like that until Annabel rushed into the waiting room, causing Beca to get up and walk with her to the other side of the room.

"Rebecca, please tell me what happened."

"She slit her wrists dude... I walked in on her bleeding out on the floor of her dorm."

"Oh my God. What happened?"

"I have no idea! She was writing in the journal like you told her, going to class, going out... I don't know what happened Annie... I didn't know, I didn't know—"

"Bec, relax... you didn't know. There's no way you could've prevented this."

"Why didn't she tell me she was feeling like this?"

"It's not always that simple, mama."

"This is ass... everything about this is just ass," Beca said, shaking her head and running a hand through her hair.

"I know... C'mon, let's sit you back down."

Annabel and Beca walked back over to where Aubrey and Chloe's mom sat and took the chairs next to them. The ER was kind of dead that night... or it was slow, for a better choice of words. The wait seemed forever though.

A doctor with long, red hair a little lighter than Chloe's and emerald green eyes walked into the waiting room asking for Beca.

"I'm Dr. Jocelynn Pierce. We stitched up her wrists and had to give her blood. She'll be under 72 hour suicide watch in the psychiatric wing. I'm only allowing one visitor tonight, then from tomorrow on she'll be able to see two people at a time, no more. I can take whoever you decide to her now."

Beca sighed and turned to Chloe's mother, "Tell her I love her, okay? And I'll be here first thing in the morning."

The woman nodded and followed the doctor through the doors. Aubrey stood up and looked at Beca.

"Are you gonna get going?" the blonde asked.

"Uhm... No, I'm gonna wait for her mom to come out I think," she replied.

Aubrey nodded and said goodbye to her and Annabel, "I'll be here at 10 tomorrow."

Annabel stood up from the chair she was in and put her hand on the girl's shoulder. "I think you should go home."

"No, I can't. I can't go home. The person I love more than anything in the world tried to kill herself. She wanted to die. I didn't even notice... I need to know that she's okay."

"Okay, do you want me to stay with you?"

"No... I'll be fine, thank you for coming," Beca replied.

"Okay, call me tonight if anything and text me with visiting hours for tomorrow."

Beca nodded and Annabel gave her a kiss on the head before leaving. The brunette looked down at her hands and realized she still had blood all over them. She got up and walked to the bathroom. She scrubbed her hands in the sink until all the dried blood was gone from under her nails and she tried to get the stain out of her shirt but it was no use. Beca dried her hands and shirt under the hand dryer and went back into the waiting room, just in time too because Chloe's mom had just walked out of the doors with the doctor from before.

"How is she?" Beca asked.

"She says she won't stop fighting the nurses until she sees you," Dr. Pierce said with a sigh.

Beca looked at Chloe's mom, "She needs to talk to you. I'm gonna come back tomorrow with her father... Go calm her down."

Chloe's mom had tears running down her face and Beca felt like shit, but nodded, hugging the woman before she followed the doctor to the back to where Chloe was. As they walked down the hall Beca could hear yelling the further they walked. Dr. Pierce stopped and pointed, "Second door on the left. Five minutes." Beca walked into the room and saw Chloe yelling at a nurse who was trying to put the IV back in her arm, trying to hit her off.

"Chloe! Stop it," Beca yelled over the redhead.

Chloe turned her head and saw Beca in the doorway and started crying. Beca sat on the edge of the bed and pulled the girl's head into her chest. As she held Chloe close to her, tears started rolling down her cheeks again. She caressed her curly hair and whispered to her.

"Put the IV back in, yea?"

Chloe nodded and put her arm out for the nurse. After the needle was in place, the woman left Beca and Chloe alone in the room.

"Baby..." Beca started. "What happened?"

"I'm so sorry Beca. I'm so selfish, I didn't even think of you when I did this—"

"Shhh, it's okay... That doesn't matter. Just... why?"

Chloe started crying harder at the question. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

"Okay, it's okay."

Beca rubbed the redhead's hair until she stopped sobbing. Dr. Pierce came into the doorway and cleared her throat to get Beca's attention, tapping her watch once Beca turned her head to look at her. The brunette nodded and turned back to Chloe.

"Baby, I gotta go. You were only supposed to have on visitor today, but I'll be here first thing tomorrow morning. I love you very much. Please don't fight with the nurses, they're just doing their job... Try and get some sleep, okay babe?"

Chloe nodded, wiping her tears from her cheeks. Beca ran her hand down the side of her girlfriend's face, wrapping her hand around the girl's neck on her way down. She pulled her face into hers and kissed her.

"I'm so in love with you Chloe Beale, please don't cry. Get some sleep and I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight."

It broke Beca's heart to turn her back on her crying girlfriend, her wrists wrapped and hospital gown on. She shook her head and walked out of the hospital. The brunette didn't even bother with trying to get a ride back to campus; she decided to just take the 30 minute walk back. The whole time she was just trying to figure out how she could've missed the fact that she wanted to kill herself. Was it just about the rape or did something else come up? Beca had no idea and it was frustrating her the more she thought about it so she decided to drop the thought. She reached into her pocket and took her earbuds out, plugging them into her phone and putting the volume up to the max. With the music playing, the walk seemed shorter. When Beca got back on campus she was going to walk to her room but something made her walk in the opposite direction towards Chloe's dorm. She walked up the stairs to Chloe's floor and opened the unlocked door to her room, which was blocked off by a single traffic cone. Beca walked around the cone and into the room. She looked at the puddle of blood on the floor for a while before moving her gaze to the bed. Chloe's backpack sat on the bed, books spilling out of its opening. She noticed the little, green book the redhead had been writing all her thoughts down in peeking out of the bag. Beca grabbed it and turned to the last page. It was marked from that same morning.

 _March 12, 11:42AM_

 _People are staring less which is good. Classes are going well, I still have kind of a lot to catch up on though. I'm going to have lunch with Beca in a few. I can't wait to see her gorgeous face today. I'm not sure if it's too soon for this, but I think I miss sex... with Beca anyway. Whatever, I'm looking forward to today and that's what matters._

Beca didn't get it. How could "I'm looking forward to today" go to a suicide attempt? She looked through her bookbag more and found a paper Chloe wrote with a big F written on top.

"Hmm, that's surprising," Beca said to herself.

She looked through some of the rest of the stuff and sighed when she didn't find anything helpful. Beca put everything back inside the backpack and zipped it up, putting it on her back. She grabbed Chloe's phone and her charger from her desk and left the room, returning to her own dorm. The brunette put Chloe's bag and phone on her desk and then took her clothes off, putting blood-free ones on. She was so exhausted, as soon as she hit the bed she knew she would knock out so she set an alarm for 7AM so she could get to the hospital by 8 when visiting hours started. Speaking of visiting hours, she had to text Annabel.

" _Hey Annie, I got to see her for like 5 mins today... visiting hours are from 8AM-6PM tmm"_

" _Okay mama, get some sleep. We'll talk tmm"_

Beca plugged her phone into her charger and finally got into bed. Within minutes she was out.

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 **I'M BACK AFTER THREE WHOLE YEARS SO Y'ALL BETTER REVIEW MAN**


	5. Chapter 5

**This took a very unexpected turn that I didn't even think it would take as I was writing it.. enjoy :) I'm still writing, but at least I know what the ending will be now. Make sure to please share this story because I did not come back THREE YEARS later for like 5 reviews. Cool, ENJOYYYY**

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Beca sat in the waiting room, it was 7:57AM and instead of just letting her in a little early, the desk receptionist told her she was early and needed to wait. She sat with her backpack on her lap, zipping and unzipping the front pocket as she waited. The three minutes until 8 seemed like forever, but when the clock finally changed Beca got up and went back to the receptionists, claiming it was the start of visiting hours.

The woman at the desk sighed and rolled her eyes, opening the door for the brunette. Beca walked into the hallway and down to Chloe's room. She walked in and saw Chloe asleep in the bed. Beca sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed, placing her hand on the redhead's hair.

"Chlo," Beca whispered, running her fingers through her hair.

Chloe turned toward Beca in the bed and grabbed the girl's hand off her head. "I'm sorry," she said, her eyes still closed.

"Baby, stop it. Stop saying sorry. You're okay now."

"No, I'm not," she said. As she opened her eyes, the built up tears fell down her cheeks.

"Don't cry Chloe, please. Tell me what happened, I want to help you," Beca begged.

"I can't..." the redhead said, closing her eyes again. "Oh my God, Beca, I can't go back. I can't go back, I can't tell you, I can't do this anymore!"

Chloe was getting worked up and Beca didn't know what to do. "Chlo, take a breath baby, please."

"Beca, I really can't go back there. I can't go anywhere... My life is over."

Nothing Beca said was gonna change her mind, and she knew that but it just made her feel worse about being so helpless. The only way she would feel like like she could help was if she knew what triggered the attempt. Beca wasn't leaving until she found out exactly what happened that day.

"Chloe," Beca started. "I really need you to tell me why. Tell me what happened. How much worse can this get? You literally almost died. Like no longer existed on this Earth, no longer existed in my life! Tell me why!"

"I need to graduate," Chloe cried.

"Dude, what are you talking about? If you need to graduate then why did you do this? Definitely wouldn't have helped you finish college."

"Beca, you can't say anything to the police."

"I already had to talk to the police last night, they needed my statement," the brunette replied.

"No, no. About what I'm about to tell you," Chloe said, wiping the tears from her face.

"Why would I go to the police? ... Oh my God, it didn't happen again, did it? Did someone touch you?"

Chloe shook her head, "No, but I know who did before..."

Beca heart sank. "What do you mean? How? You have to tell the police Chlo!"

"No! Beca. swear to me you will not say anything to anyone about this!"

"Chloe! How could I not? You know the last person who raped you! You have to tell the police!"

"No. If you're going to say something, I'm kicking you out. I will never speak to you again if you do."

"Chloe, are you serious?"

"I swear I will never speak to you again."

Beca was livid. Chloe knew the last rapist's identity and she refused to get justice. How does that make any sense? Beca prayed she didn't know who the guy was because if she did, she didn't know what she would do. Her blood was boiling and she didn't even know who it was yet. Was it worth it to say something and lose Chloe? Was it worth it to have Chloe and let that bastard go free? Maybe she could convince Chloe to say something herself after she finds out who it was. That was a good possibility.

"Okay, I swear I won't say anything to anyone," Beca said. Chloe held out her pinky and Beca wrapped her own around hers. Chloe was always big on pinky promises.

"Okay..." Chloe started. She took a long pause before speaking again. "You know what classes I had yesterday?"

"Uhm... I don't know, you had dance and that renaissance class right? What does that have to do with anything?"

"That 'renaissance class' is taught by a rapist," Chloe replied angrily.

Beca thought her blood was boiling before. Before it was just a little warm compared to now. She has sat in that professor's class for months and he'd probably been thinking about attacking her for awhile at that point.

"Professor James? Are you fucking kidding me? Chloe, you have to say something to the police or to the dean or something! You can't let him get away with that!"

"No, Beca, no. He said he was gonna fail me if I say anything! I need to graduate Beca. No way I can stay at Barden any longer, especially not after this."

"He can't do anything after the police arrest him!"

"They can't arrest him! How are they going to arrest him? On what grounds? A suicidal girl's word? Only two left DNA, there were most definitely three people but one is going to be off the hook unless there's proof and there's not. Nothing is going to happen to him. If I say something, I'm done," Chloe yelled, starting to cry again.

A nurse had come into the room when Chloe started to cry. "It's getting a little loud in here, is everything okay?"

"Yeah... Fine. I should go," Beca said, getting up from the bed.

"Beca—"

"I have to go baby, don't worry. I won't say anything, swore on it. Aubrey and your parents should be coming by to see you soon anyway. I love you," the brunette replied.

Beca walked out of the room, leaving Chloe in tears behind her just like the night before. She was furious. Trying to hold back her tears, she left the hospital and waited for a cab outside. Once she was inside the vehicle, she initially told the driver the address for Baker Hall but then changed her mind.

"Actually, forget that last address—182 Washington Street please."

Beca couldn't stop thinking about how she would sometimes pass Professor James in the library or outside his office and she would actually say hello to him. She was friendly towards the man who raped the only person she'd ever loved. No way he was going to get away with that.

The cab finally stopped outside Beca's requested destination and she told him to wait for her to grab something, getting out of the car. She walked up the white house and unlocked the front door. She sighed at the sound of her step-mother's voice coming from the kitchen, "Honey?"

"It's me, Sheila," Beca replied going up the steps.

"Oh Beca, what are you doing home?"

Beca ignored her and walked to her father's bedroom. She opened the second drawer in this dresser and moved the socks from the way to grab a bag. She quickly put it in her backpack and made her way back downstairs. She ignored Sheila's question directed to her and left out the front door, getting back into the cab that was waiting for her. She told the driver to take her to Barden, and she sat in the back quietly until then. After the cab pulled up in front of Smith Hall, Beca paid the man and thanked him, exiting and walking into the building. She walked up the stairs to the fourth floor and knocked on room 418's door, taking off her backpack and unzipping it as she waited for it to be opened.

The door swung open after a moment and there stood Professor James.

"My office hours aren't until tomor—"

He stopped talking immediately at the sight of Beca holding out a handgun to his chest.

"Fuck you, asshole," she snapped, pulling the trigger.

There were screams from the outside of thee hall. Beca put the gun on the floor, grabbed her backpack, and walked to the bathroom at the end of the hall. She took out her phone and texted Aubrey.

" _I need u to come to the bathroom on the 4th fl. of Smith and grab my bookbag from the 3rd stall. It will have my phone, laptop, & Chloe's phone inside. Meet me at the police station w/ a good lawyer."_

Beca put her phone in the beg and put it in the stall, leaving the bathroom and going back to 418. She sat down at the desk and waited for the police. The longer she sat there, the more she realized how fucking deep she just got herself. Never in her life did she think she'd be able to do that, but she proved herself wrong. She closed her eyes and waited at the desk. A sigh of relief came a moment later at the sound of police sirens outside. There was no more waiting, no more worrying, no more anything... because she knew she was most definitely going to jail for this.

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 **REVIEW !**


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok y'all. Sorry for the wait, but I finally figured out where I'm going with this unplanned turn I took lol. There's probably going to only be 2-3 more chapters, so stay woke.**

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Aubrey stormed into the holding room Beca sat in, tears running down her face, "Are there cameras in here?"

"No," Beca said, shaking her head.

"You fucking idiot," Aubrey yelled. "You are fucking stupid Rebecca Lynn Mitchell. What the fuck?"

"Okay, one, I know I'm fucked, and two, do not use my whole government ever again," Beca replied.

"Are you fucking serious? That's what you're worried about? You're fucking lucky I know people and have connections. The best defense lawyer in Atlanta is on his way... Beca, what the fuck?"

A tear fell from the brunette's cheek. "I know... I'm fucked."

"Are you gonna explain to me why you fucking murdered a Professor or am I sitting in the police station for fun?"

"It was him. He's the third rapist..."

"What? How do you know?" Aubrey asked.

"Chloe told me he confronted her and made me pinky promise to not tell the police... I'm not gonna break a promise to her."

Aubrey huffed, "You are an idiot! You killed someone to keep a fucking pinky promise? Beca! Are you dumb in the head? Why am I even asking that? I know you are."

There was a pause between the two for a while before Beca spoke up again. "Who else knows?"

"No one, I came straight here and only called the lawyer."

"I need you to call my dad, and I'm gonna need you to tell Chloe because it's probably all over the news already, there is definitely gonna be a trial and I'm probably going to jail and it's not like I can hide this from her."

"Beca, what were you thinking?"

"I wasn't, okay!" Beca shouted. "I need you to go right now and tell Chloe before she sees anything on the news."

Aubrey nodded and stood, "Your lawyer should be here soon, his name is Will Morrison. Don't say anything until he gets here."

Aubrey turned to leave the room when Beca spoke, "Bree... Thank you."

The blonde shook her head and left the room. Beca ran a hand through her hair and sighed. She was most definitely fucked.

* * *

Chloe looked up from her magazine when she heard the door open. "Aubrey! You were supposed to be here like two hours ago."

Aubrey sat down on the edge of the bed, "Sorry... I got caught up with something. Chlo... I have to tell you something."

The redhead immediately started to panic. Beca went to the police. She had to have. She broke her promise. "Okay, so tell me."

Aubrey took a long pause before speak again, "Uhm... shit, this is hard."

"Aubrey! Just say it!"

"Beca is sitting in the police station right now."

"I fucking knew it! I can't believe she went to tell the police after she promised me she wouldn't!" Chloe yelled.

"No, Chloe, she hasn't said a word to them."

The redhead paused, her anger calming down. "Then why is she in the police station?"

"She uhm... she got arrested for murder, Chlo. She shot Professor James in his office," Aubrey said, tears falling from her eyes.

"Yeah right," Chloe scoffed. "She's telling them about him isn't she?"

"Chloe... She _killed_ Professor James."

Chloe sat in shock. No fucking way Beca would do that; no way she _could_ do that! She grabbed the TV remote off the side table and turned on the news. Of course the first thing she saw was Beca's mugshot plastered on the screen.

 **STUDENT SHOOTS PROFESSOR ON COLLEGE GROUNDS.**

 _ **Police haven't released information as to why but we'll be covering this story all day so stay tuned in for more updates.**_

She didn't noticed when it started, but Chloe was sobbing. "I need to get out of here. I need to get to the police station!"

"No, Chloe. Relax, you can't leave until tomorrow morning when the doctor clears you—if the doctor clears you at this point."

The redhead fell into Aubrey's arms, tears falling from her eyes. A nurse walked into the room frantically, "Is everything okay. What's going on?"

Aubrey sighed and looked down at Chloe. This was going to be fucking rough.

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 **Please please please leave reviews! This is not really a normal path I would take in a story so I really want to know what you guys think!**


	7. Chapter 7

**And the moment we've all been waiting for...**

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Beca stood, her hands cuffed together in front of her, facing the judge who was about to announce her fate. Her trial was over and her sentence was about to be revealed. She looked over her shoulder and her heart sank. Chloe sat, crying in the front row. Beca's father sat next to the redhead, holding her in his arms to try and calm her down but it wasn't working too well. Aubrey and the other Bellas sat in the back, their faces scrunched in worry. The judge cleared her throat and Beca looked back in front of her.

"Rebecca Lynn Mitchell on indictment of 2017 1146003, the jury, having returned a verdict of _guilty_ of murder in the second-degree. On this crime, you will obey the sentence the court has ruled against you. It is hereby ordered that you be committed to Georgia Department Corrections Facility for the period of, no less than 4 years, and no more than 7 years..."

Beca didn't hear anything after "guilty" except Chloe's cries. She didn't want to turn around. She couldn't turn around and look at her like this. Everything felt so unreal. How did she end up here? Never in a million year did she think she was capable of something like this, yet here she was, standing in handcuffs and being found guilty of murder. Her attention was grabbed by the bailiff pulling her arm to get her to leave the courtroom. She turned to exit the room, her lawyer following behind her, when she heard Chloe call her name. _Fuck, don't look back, Beca. Don't look back, don't look back._ Tears fell from Beca's eyes as she walked out of the courtroom without even a glance to the redhead who was calling her.

She had no idea when the next time she would be able to see her dad, or Chloe, or the other Bellas. She might be able to see her dad before they send her away, but she honestly had no idea. Beca had been left in the dark throughout a lot of the trial. The lawyer Aubrey got for her, Will, was very helpful, and really Beca's only source of information, but she still was pretty lost. All she knew was that she was going to jail for at least four years–which could've been way more. She felt like shit about it, but she deserved it. She took someone's life for ruining the life of the only person she's ever really cared about, and although at the time it seemed reasonable, she couldn't even imagine doing that to someone now.

The bailiff opened the door to a room with a table and two chairs, a room she'd stayed in before, sometimes for hours at a time. She sat down at the table and her lawyer sat down across from her, as the bailiff left, closing the door behind him.

Beca looked at her lawyer and then at her hands in her lap. As soon as her head fell, she began to sob to the point where she couldn't breathe. Will had gotten up and started to rub the brunette's back.

"I'm sorry I couldn't do better for you," he said softly.

Beca calmed down enough to speak then looked up, "No. I'm sorry. I am so fucking sorry."

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 **pls review**


	8. Chapter 8

**One more chapter after this y'all! Enjoy!**

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Chloe stood outside the Georgia Department Corrections Facility. She had lost count of how many times she had been there in the last three years. Everything was just so different now. Nothing had been the same since that night she was abused. Life had just really gone to shit.

She thought back to the day Beca had been incarcerated. She got to see her for five minutes the day after the sentencing, the day she got put in prison. Five minutes wasn't nearly enough that day. Before Chloe stood outside the room Beca sat in, she promised herself she wouldn't cry in front of the younger girl, but it was hard when she walked in and the first thing Beca did was start hyperventilating as she tried to apologize over and over. She held back her tears and calmed Beca's breathing down.

"I'm so sorry, Chloe. I'm so sorry. You don't deserve any of this. I am so sorry. I'd understand if you broke up with me right now. You don't deserve this. You shouldn't have to wait for anyone. I'm so sorry, Chlo."

"Can you stop? I'm not going to break up with you. We will get through this, Beca."

"You don't have to do this."

"Are you fucking serious?" Chloe asked, in almost a yell. "I love you! What makes you think I would leave you for defending me? Babe, I love you so much. I know this sucks; this last year has been really fucking shitty, but why stop now?"

Beca was quiet for a while, "You're right. I love you too. I'm really sorry."

"I know you are," Chloe said, caressing the side of her head. "Yesterday, after the trial, I went out and bought this." The redhead reached into her pocket and pulled out a diamond ring. "I know you can't have it now, but when you get out, Beca, I'm gonna marry you. I'm not asking. You can't say no. I love you, and that will never fade. This ring is going on your finger the day you get out."

Beca's face looked like she was going to start hyperventilating again. Chloe took off the necklace Beca had gotten her for their anniversary last year and slid the ring onto the chain, putting it back around her neck. "I'll keep it safe right here, waiting for you."

"I love you so much. I'm so sorry I did this to us, Chlo."

Before Chloe could reply, the man who let her in opened the door, "Time to go."

She looked back at the brunette and her heart ached. She looked like a puppy that had just been hit with a car. Chloe pulled the girl's face into hers and kissed her lips hard, one last time before getting up and walking out of the room, tears falling from her eyes as soon as she turned her back to Beca.

Chloe sighed. That day was hard for her. Things have gotten a little better since the court granted Beca visitation rights, once a month for two hours, a year into her sentence. Chloe came every month, without fail. Sometimes she would split the time with Beca's father when he came–if he came that is. You would think he would come more seeing as Beca was his only child, but Chloe didn't mind, that just meant more time with Beca.

The redhead finally walked inside and went through the whole routine of signing in, going through the metal detector, etc. She was escorted into the visiting room and a smile appeared on her face as soon as she saw Beca. She pulled the brunette into her arms and showered her neck with kisses. Beca laughed and pulled away from the redhead, kissing her softly on the lips.

Chloe arched an eyebrow, "You seem... happy?"

Beca smiled, "Ecstatic."

"And why is that? Prison food got a little better?"

The brunette laughed again, "No! You know what's in 2 weeks?"

"How could I not?"

"Four years, Chloe!"

"Yeah, four years, but it doesn't matter because you're supposed to serve five," the redhead replied.

"I _was_ supposed to serve five. Will Morrison, the lawyer, came by three days ago and told me that I have enough 'earned time' credit to get out of here at four!"

"What the hell is earned time credit?"

"Basically gold stars, good girl points. He said he put in for me to get let out this month, Chloe!" she said excitedly.

Chloe didn't want to get her hopes up just to find out she had to stay longer. "Bec, doesn't that take time to pass? Like how are you going to get out this month if he only stopped by three days ago?"

"He said he put in the request four months ago because he knew it would take time, and he didn't want to say anything to me until it looked good. Chloe, why aren't you excited?"

"I-I am, I just... I don't know if I can handle it if it doesn't go through, Becs."

Beca smiled across the table, "It will, babe. I can feel it."

Chloe was quiet. She took her necklace out from under her shirt and looked at the ring hanging on the chain. She nodded and looked back up at Beca, "Two weeks."

She smiled, "Two weeks."

* * *

Chloe walked into her apartment and took her shoes off, hanging up her jacket and tossing her purse on the couch. Coming home from work was her least favorite part of the day. She always felt so alone. Aubrey would come over as often as she could but it was hard with her job at the Fallen Leaves Lodge. She sat down on the couch next to her purse and sighed. It was about 4:30PM and three weeks had passed since her last visit with Beca. Still no news on the girl's release arose and Chloe was just as disappointed as she thought she'd be. She knew she shouldn't have gotten her hopes up.

Her mind was taken off track by her cell phone ringing in her purse. She scrambled through the miscellaneous items inside before finding her phone, answering it, and putting it to her ear. "Hello?"

"Hey baby, you busy?"

"Oh my God, Beca?" Chloe said, tears forming in her eyes.

"Yup. Guess who's out of jail with no ride?" she laughed.

"Oh my God, oh my God. I'll be right there! Don't hang up."

"You're crazy if you think I'm hanging up on you."

Chloe quickly grabbed her purse and put her shoes on before running out of her apartment in tears.

* * *

Chloe pulled up to the prison gate and put the car in park, immediately getting out and running to the small brunette exiting with a bag in her hand. She threw her arms around the girl and squeezed as tight as she could. She pulled away and Beca pulled her back in for a kiss.

"Oh my God, I've waited so long to do this," Chloe smiled, taking off her chain and sliding the ring off of it and onto Beca's finger.

"I love you so much, Chloe. I don't think I could've done this without you. I owe you everything."

"Oh shut up, you don't owe me anything. Just marry me and we'll be even."

"Deal," Beca smiled, pulling Chloe in for another kiss.

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 **Thank Amanda for this happy ending, bc I was really gonna make Beca get shanked and die in prison but "they've gone through enough"... idk why I'm like this lmfao anyway, REVIEW! ONE CHAPTER LEFT!**


	9. Chapter 9

**This could've been two chapters but idc, it's becoming one. Thank you to everyone who read this story. The creds to all the songs I use in this chapter are gonna be in the end. Sorry for playing with your feelings during this, thank you again, please enjoy!**

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Beca sat on the couch flipping through the channels. She had stopped it on TLC because either Say Yes to the Dress for My 600LB Life was playing, so she was hoping for the obvious, wedding-related show, but to her dismay, it wasn't on. She had been so bored just sitting home while Chloe was at work. She had told the brunette to make herself productive but she hadn't gotten up off the couch all day. She was worried though, Chloe wouldn't be home for another hour so she had time before she had to pretend to do something.

Chloe had taken the week that Beca was released off of work, but that didn't come close to making up for lost time. Prison was fucking ass. Every day was the same bullshit over and over and over and over. The food was horrible. The people were scary–most of them anyway, she did actually make a couple friends. After the third day being there Beca promised herself to be on her best behavior for the rest of her life. She would give anything to never end up there again, really never end up anywhere that she'd have to be away from Chloe for that long. But the week with Chloe was good. Good isn't the word, it was comforting and heart-warming combined into one.

Beca was startled by the sound of the front door opening. _Shit_.

Chloe walked in and saw Beca sitting on the couch, the dishes still in the sink and clothes all over the living room. "Rebecca Mitchell. You had one job."

"I was gonna do it! You just came home super early for no reason!" she said, defensively.

"Not for no reason! Get dressed and hurry up cleaning this mess. We have plans at 4!"

Beca sighed and got up from the couch. She hated Chloe's plans recently. They already went to Beca's dad's house for dinner–that was horrible. The Bellas threw her a surprise party–also horrible, Beca had felt almost as guilty as the day of her sentencing. Who throws a "got-out-of-jail-early-even-though-you-still-killed-someone-party"? Definitely didn't deserve that one. But she didn't say anything to Chloe because she knew she was just trying to help.

After Beca finished cleaning and getting dressed, and Chloe finished the dishes, she followed the redhead out to the car.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see when we get there," Chloe winked.

Beca sat grumpily in the car, until the sight of a small coffee shop in the distance found her gaze. "There's open mic tonight?"

"Hmm, you sound more excited than before," she smirked.

"Ugh, I wish you would've told me. I could've at least brought my guitar."

"It's in the trunk."

Beca smiled, "Wow, I've never felt the need to marry someone more."

"Thank me later," Chloe winked, parking the car in the lot and getting out.

The brunette grabbed her guitar out of the trunk and ran after the redhead. Chloe sat down at a table while Beca wrote her name on the sign up sheet at the front. There were only two people in front of her. _Perfect_. Beca joined Chloe at the table and took her guitar out of its case.

"What are you going to sing?" the redhead asked.

"I don't know yet," she said, quietly tuning the instrument. _That was a lie. She knew exactly what she was going to sing._

They sat and watched a man sing Perfect by Ed Sheeran. He was pretty decent, not really good though in Beca's opinion. A girl got on stage and as soon as she started singing Beca tuned out, she thought the dinner with her dad was horrible? Nothing was as bad as the torture they were listening to now. She turned to Chloe and whispered, "Yikes."

"Be nice!" the redhead scolded.

When the singing was finally over, Beca got up as Chloe started clapping. The brunette walked on stage with her guitar and sat on the stool, adjusting the mic.

She cleared her throat and began to speak. "I haven't sung here in years," she said with a laugh. "But this is a song I wrote while uhm... in prison." Beca shrugged, and continued, "This one's for my fiancée."

Chloe smiled as Beca began.

 _Another summer day_

 _Has come and gone away_

 _In Paris and Rome_

 _But I wanna go home_

 _May be surrounded by_

 _A million people I_

 _Still feel all alone_

 _Just wanna go home_

 _Oh, I miss you, you know_

 _And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you_

 _Each one a line or two_

 _"I'm fine baby, how are you?"_

 _Well, I would send them but I know that it's just not enough_

 _My words were cold and flat_

 _And you deserve more than that_

 _Another aeroplane_

 _Another sunny place_

 _I'm lucky, I know_

 _But I wanna go home_

 _I've got to go home_

 _Let me go home_

 _I'm just too far from where you are_

 _I wanna come home_

 _And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life_

 _It's like I just stepped outside_

 _When everything was going right_

 _And I know just why you could not_

 _Come along with me_

 _This was not your dream_

 _But you always believed in me_

 _Another winter day has come_

 _And gone away_

 _In either Paris or Rome_

 _And I wanna go home_

 _Let me go home_

 _And I'm surrounded by_

 _A million people I_

 _Still feel alone_

 _And let me go home_

 _Oh, I miss you, you know_

 _Let me go home_

 _I've had my run_

 _Baby, I'm done_

 _I gotta go home_

 _Let me go home_

 _It'll all be all right_

 _I'll be home tonight_

 _I'm coming back home_

Beca looked up and only saw Chloe's tears. She ignored the cheers for her and quickly got off the stage, going over to the redhead. "Dude, why are you crying?"

"Why am I crying? Because that was amazing and touching and it made me emotional, okay?"

"I agree."

Startled by the extra voice, Beca turned around and saw a man in a button down white shirt and black tie standing next to her. His smile seemed genuine and his eyes kind, but it was still weird that this stranger just joined their conversation. "Uh, thanks?" she replied, awkwardly.

"My name is Hunter Grey. I'm a recruiter for Sony Music Entertainment, and if you would, I would love to talk."

"You're lying. You work for Sony? Labels like Columbia, Epic, RCA?"

The man laughed, "Yeah, you know your stuff, huh?"

"Uhm, yeah. Producing music is such a passion of mine."

"Producing? Not performing?"

"I mean, obviously I perform but making the music is more fun."

Chloe chimed in, "Maybe you two should finish this conversation sitting down. The table is empty, ya know?"

"Oh, yeah, right. Sit," Beca said, taking her seat next to Chloe.

Hunter sat down across from them and continued, "You never mentioned your name."

"Oh shit, sorry. Beca Mitchell."

"Babe, watch your mouth," Chloe said under her breath.

"Sorry."

"It's fine, we've all heard worse," he smiled. "Anyway, my recommendation goes a long way in the company, Beca. If I were to suggest you get signed to our label, would you be committed to making that a career?"

"Signed as what?"

"A performer, an artist."

"Not unless I got to produce too."

Chloe smiled. Beca was never one to not fight for what she wanted–even though that has definitely gotten her in LOTS of trouble before.

"We can talk about that, after I ask why you were in prison. You don't have to answer, but if it may be a deal-breaker for the company. See, I believe in second chances, but corporate just sees liabilities."

Beca stayed quiet. She wasn't about to tell a stranger that she spent 4 years locked up for murder. She glanced at Chloe and the look in her eyes agreed with Beca. Don't say a word.

"I'd rather not say," she replied.

"That's completely fine. Can you wait here while I make a call to my boss to see if we can get a self-producing artist signed? If they agree, they'll then listen to a demo, and then if they like it, they'll eventually do a full background check on you and decide whether your probably regretful past matters to your future at Sony."

"Uhm, yeah, okay." Beca said.

He nodded and walked outside of the coffee shop. Beca turned to Chloe and scrunched her eyebrows, "I'm not really sure if I like or trust him."

"Okay, agreed, but I googled him while you were talking and he definitely works for Sony so I think we can kinda trust him," the redhead shrugged.

"Anyway... Did you like the song?"

"Beca, I loved the song. It made me cry from sadness but it was so beautiful at the same time. What else have you done these last four years?"

"I learned how to tattoo."

"No, you did not."

Beca laughed, "Yes, I did too."

"I would say prove it, but I trust you with a needle as much as I trust this stranger."

"Your loss," she replied, shaking her head.

Chloe smiled, "I'll be right back, I'm gonna run to the bathroom."

Beca nodded, and sat waiting at the table. While Chloe was gone, Hunter came back into the coffee shop and up to Beca.

"Beca Mitchell, murdered her girlfriend's rapist who was a professor at your school," he said, sitting down next to her.

"Wha–How do you know that?" she asked.

"Come on, I knew as soon as I saw you. That story was HUGE, your mugshot was all over the news."

"So why did you pretend you didn't know?"

"I'm not going to bring up your girlfriend's rape in front of her. I'm not an asshole, but I can't make it seem like that's not an important factor in this deal."

"Oh, fiancée now but... uhm, thank you."

"Congratulations, but knowing what happened, I personally don't think you should've gotten any time for that, but the law is the law. I called corporate and they feel you committed an honorable crime, and are willing to take a chance on you as a self-producing artist, no demo needed. A straight signing."

"Are you serious?"

Chloe walked up to the table, next to them, "What'd I miss?"

"He wants to sign me to the label, like for real."

"I'll let you guys talk it over. Here's my card; I'll be here for another three weeks. Call me and we'll set something up. Congratulations again on your engagement, and I look forward to hearing from you," Hunter smiled, leaving the table and then the coffee shop.

"Dude, he knew who I was!" Beca exclaimed as she put her guitar back in its case.

Chloe raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

"After you left, he told me that he knew why I was in prison because he remembered me from the news–which honestly kinda sucks because that means other people probably recognize me from that too–but he called and the people at the label think it was 'honorable' or whatever so he said they're willing to take a risk on me."

"Listen, you deserve this, Beca, don't get me wrong. What you did is going to follow you everywhere and that's not fair to you, so this opportunity is fantastic… but this is a huge decision you have to make, Beca."

"Yeah, I know."

"This means we'll have to move to New York..."

"And you don't want to... I see," Beca said with a soft nod. "Then, we stay. If you want to stay, we stay. You've done so much for me, so if you don't want to leave, we don't."

"Babe, it's not that I don't want to leave. I mean kinda... I got really close with your sister and your niece while you were away, and you know, I've been seeing that really helpful therapist to deal with the rape and you... I don't know what it is. I want to go; it would be really good for you to have a fresh start somewhere new and there's nothing better I could wish for you, I just–I don't know."

"I mean, I'm gonna try to convince you, but I'll respect it and agree if you want to stay. New York isn't _that_ far. Yes, we'll be away from our families and I know you've been struggling with that, especially after what I did to you, but you are the entire essence of never distancing yourself from your family. You came to see me _every single time_ I was allowed visitors. You took care of my niece for me while I couldn't. You gave my sister someone to talk to about something she struggles to talk to anyone about. And you've always been there for your own family, that's not going to change with distance or time."

"Yeah, you're right..." the redhead agreed.

"And I know you really like your therapist, and I hate to ask you to leave her, but I'm sure we can get you the best one in New York," Beca said, taking Chloe's hand and rubbing her thumb along the bump in the redhead's wrist from her scar.

She was quiet for a moment, looking down at Beca's hand on her skin. She looked up and smiled softly at Beca, "Honestly, I don't think I even need a therapist anymore."

"No, no it's okay. We can find the perfect one for you."

Chloe shook her head, "Beca, I have nothing to worry about anymore. I don't have any reason to even _think_ about suicide again, and I never will. The people who abused me are either in jail or dead, thankfully. I just... I feel much better, like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to not have the help you need, Chloe."

"I'm sure. I've only ever been more sure of one thing–wanting to marry you."

"So... we're doing this?"

"Not until after the wedding, Hunter better be able to make that happen. But yeah, we're doing this. _You're_ doing this. Your second chance."

Beca smiled, "I love you."

"I love you more. Let's get out of here," Chloe said, grabbing the brunette's hand.

Beca grabbed her guitar case with her empty hand and gladly followed the redhead out of the coffee shop. Although she felt overjoyed at the news she'd just received, she quickly started to feel horrible at the same time. Beca stopped walking about five feet away from the car. Chloe turned to her with a furrowed brow.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"I don't deserve any of this..."

"What?"

"I don't deserve to be signed to a record label, I don't deserve to be marrying you, I don't even deserve to be alive right now."

"Woah. Beca, where is this coming from?"

"Dude, I fucking _killed_ someone!"

"Babe, we've gone over this... There's nothing you can do about it now except keep moving forward and make up for that mistake."

"Murder isn't a mistake, Chloe. I literally got a gun and shot a man, fully knowing I was doing so. I thought I accepted it. I was fine, but, Chlo, I can't do this," Beca said, going into a panic.

"Okay, you need to relax because you're going to start hyperventilating, I can see it coming on. Take a breath," she said, cupping Beca's face. "Good, keep breathing slowly. Beca, I think you need therapy. I was thinking about it for a while now, but you seemed to be coping pretty well... seemed being the key word there. You're obviously not okay, and you're going to need to learn how to forgive yourself–"

"Forgive myself?" Beca yelled.

"Shut up, I'm still talking. Yes, forgive yourself. I know it sounds impossible, but that's the only way this feeling of guilt and contemptibility is going to go away. You and everyone who knows you, knows that person who murdered someone is not you. Everything about that entire situation was horrible and shitty and any outcome would've been horrible... You know, I never told you this, but the real reason I actually started seeing a therapist was because I felt you were in jail because of me. Not because of the rape, not because being away from you for that long was too hard–like obviously those were factors, but I was beating myself up the entire trial, and two years after you were there."

"Why would you say that? How in any way would it have been your fault, Chloe?"

"I made you promise not to tell the police! If we would've just reported him, everything could've been so different..." Chloe said, as a tear fell from the pool in her eyes.

"Babe... in no way was any of this your fault," Beca replied, pulling Chloe into a tight hug. " _I_ chose to overreact, and that was my fault and my fault only. I suffered the consequences for that because it _was_ my choice."

The redhead pulled away and wiped her cheek, "Remember what you just said when you start to feel guilty again."

"What?"

"You suffered the consequences. You did something wrong and you suffered the consequences. You did it, it's done. Now it's time to continue your life."

Beca sighed, "We're both pretty fucked up in the head now, huh?"

Chloe laughed, "Yeah. But that's not gonna stop us from being happy."

"You're right. We can do this."

"Say that again."

"We can do this."

Chloe smiled, "We can do this. You _will_ forgive yourself one day."

Beca grabbed the redhead's face, pulling it into hers and giving her an emotional kiss, "I love you."

"I love you too. Now come on, let's go home," Chloe said, kissing her once more before heading to the car.

Maybe this will work out. Just maybe.

* * *

 _Please welcome an artist who has earned her fair share of Grammy nominations and the two-time Grammy nominee–Katy Perry and DJ Khaled._

Beca's eye scanned the stage. She was still in shock. She was at the Grammys. The fucking _Grammys_. Beca released her first album, Too Much, a year after being signed. She had used all the songs she wrote while in jail and threw them onto an album, definitely not expecting for it to blow up as much as it did. She use to dream about winning a Grammy, and now she's nominated for three. Best New Artist, Best Pop Vocal Album, and Album of the Year. She looked to her right and smiled at the redhead beside her. Life was great at that moment.

"I just want to welcome everyone again to the 64th Annual Grammy Awards. This next award has never been won by the same artist twice," Katy Perry said into the mic.

"Major key alert: this years nominees for Best New Artist are the bomb and they are Anabel Marie, Noah Matthews, Notorious, Lil Metta, Finessa, and Beca Mitchell."

Chloe squealed and tugged on Beca's arm, "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh."

"Shhhh!" Beca replied, her heart beating out of her chest. She looked around at the other artists and took a small breath.

"And the winner for Best New Artists goes to..." Katy Perry started.

"Beca Mitchell!" DJ Khaled yelled into the mic.

"Oh my gosh! Beca!" Chloe yelled, the widest smile on her face.

"Holy shit. Holy shit!" she said astonished.

"Go!" the redhead yelled, pushing Beca out of her seat.

She walked on stage and accepted a hug from DJ Khaled and Katy Perry, then taking the golden trophy. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Beca was truly stunned.

She walked up to the mic and lowered it to reach her mouth, "Uhm, holy shit. This is like... something I never thought would actually happen. But before I say anymore, I have to give a huge thank you to my wife. Chloe, I wouldn't be here without your support. I love you. Also big thank you to Hunter Grey and Sony for taking such a big chance on me. I know my past has been a huge topic since my album came out, and I struggled for a long time with that, but that entire experience wrote all these songs and just won me a Grammy. So I'd like to give a message to all the young people who've found themselves in a place they never expected to be in; we all do things we regret, but it's what you do after that counts. Thank you so much."

The crowd cheered and Beca smiled as her eye caught Chloe giving her a standing ovation. She exited the stage, and made her way through all the people congratulating her off stage. She finally made her way back to where she had been sitting with Chloe and she wrapped her arms tightly around the redhead. She handed Chloe to grammy and took her seat.

The redhead examined the trophy excitedly, "Babe, I am so so proud of you."

"Thank you. Chloe, I love you so much. I literally owe you everything," Beca replied, wiping a tear from the redhead's cheek.

"I love you too."

"Okay, now this shit is about to be boring as hell until they get to Best Album."

Chloe laughed, "I know. Why is this so long? Like it's so cool to see all these celebrities–like I definitely fangirled so hard when Bruno Mars came up to us, Aubrey is gonna be so jealous–but wow this is a long event."

"And I'm literally starving. I can feel my stomach acid burning through my organs," Beca replied.

"Ok, Miss Drama Queen."

Beca laughed, "It's true–ooh, be quiet! Beyoncé is about to perform."

Chloe rested her head on Beca's shoulder and they turned their attention to the stage to watch the performance.

* * *

 _Put your hands together for the star of CBS's NCIS, Mark Harmon, presenting Album on the Year._

Beca took Chloe's hand, "I'm not gonna win."

"What? You don't know that?"

"My album is literally one of the most depressing albums to ever exist," she replied.

Chloe sighed, "The end isn't." She was kind of right, but it was only depressing to them because they actually know what each song is about. The album had seven songs:

 _1\. Man Down–_

 _I didn't mean to end his life, I know it wasn't right_

 _I can't even sleep at night, can't get it off my mind_

 _I need to get out of sight, fore I end up behind bars_

 _What started out as a simple altercation_

 _Turned into a real sticky situation_

 _Me just thinking on the time that I'm facing_

 _Makes me wanna cry_

 _'Cause I didn't mean to hurt him_

 _Coulda been somebody's son_

 _And I took his heart when_

 _I pulled out that gun_

 _Rum bum bum bum, rum bum bum bum, rum bum bum bum_

 _Man Down ..._

 _2\. Let Me Go–_

 _You made plans and I, I made problems_

 _We were sleeping back to back_

 _We know this thing wasn't built to last and_

 _Good on paper, picture perfect_

 _Chased the high too far, too fast_

 _Picket white fence, but we paint it black_

 _Ooh, and I wished you had hurt me harder than I hurt you_

 _Ooh, and I wish you wouldn't wait for me but you always do_

 _I've been hoping somebody loves you in the ways I couldn't_

 _Somebody's taking care of all of the mess I've made_

 _Someone you don't have to change_

 _I've been hoping_

 _Someone will love you, let me go ..._

 _3\. Home–_

 _Another summer day_

 _Is come and gone away_

 _In Paris and Rome_

 _But I want to go home_

 _Mmmmmmmm_

 _Maybe surrounded by_

 _A million people I_

 _Still feel all alone_

 _I just want to go home_

 _Oh I miss you, you know ..._

 _4\. Alone–_

 _Oh oh oh ooh, oh oh oh ooh_

 _Take the weight off my shoulders_

 _Say, I won't make the same mistakes when we're older_

 _'Cause with every step you take I'm getting colder_

 _So come a little closer, just come a little closer_

 _I don't want somebody else to call my name_

 _No, I don't want somebody else when you could just say_

 _Say that you're the one who's taking me home_

 _'Cause I want you on my skin and my bones_

 _Knocking me off my feet_

 _Just say I'm the one that you need (oh, please)_

 _Say that you're the one who's taking me home_

 _So I can get you alone ..._

 _5\. No Peace–_

 _I see you in the morning_

 _Feel your fingers in my hair_

 _Sometimes I still pretend you're there_

 _It hits me without warning_

 _Your reflection walking by_

 _But I know it's only in my mind_

 _Will you show me the piece of my heart I've been missing?_

 _Won't you give me the part of myself that I can't get back?_

 _Will you show me the piece of my heart I've been missing?_

 _'Cause I'd kill for you_

 _And darling you know that ..._

 _6\. I'll Find You–_

 _Just fight a little longer my friend_

 _It's all worth it in the end_

 _But when you got nobody to turn to_

 _Just hold on, and I'll find you_

 _I'll find you_

 _I'll find you_

 _Just hold on, and I'll find you_

 _I'm hanging on by a thread_

 _And all I'm clinging to is prayers ..._

 _7\. Gonna Get Better–_

 _I'm not gonna leave you now_

 _Oh, I know it's gon' get better_

 _I'm not gonna leave you now_

 _Oh, I know it's gon' get better_

 _I won't leave you for a money man_

 _No matter what we go through_

 _I'm not gonna leave you now_

 _Oh, I know it's gon' get better ..._

"Album of the year nominees are Anabel Marie-Nothing Feels Natural, Julia Michaels-Honesty, Kendrick Lamar-All Ears, Ed Sheeran-Minus, and Beca Mitchell-Too Much. This year's Grammy goes to..."

"If it's you I'm really gonna cry," Chloe said.

"Stop, it's not going to be me. No way, I'm beating fucking Ed Sheeran or Kendrick Lamar–"

"Beca Mitchell!"

"I told you! Oh my gosh!" the redhead shouted.

"No fucking way, dude, what."

Beca got up again and and went on stage, accepting her second Grammy. "I have no idea what to say, I honestly didn't think I was going to win this award. But, again, shoutout to my wife, I love you baby... and basically what I said before. Build up from your mistakes and your fears. Too Much really just describes what I went through and if I can get here, on stage at the Grammys, from that, writing lyrics while I was in pain, then anyone can turn their life around. Thank you again, and thank you to all my fans."

* * *

A week after the Grammys and Beca still found herself staring at the two trophies on the shelf in Beca and Chloe's bedroom. She didn't win Best Pop Vocal Album, but she got more than she expected in the first place. She pulled her eyes away to look down to Chloe, who was asleep next to her. Beca softly kissed the girl's forehead and took a deep breath.

The fame was really hard at first, especially with her record being public information and her going by the same name, despite the label advising her to use a stage name. She was getting so much hate, with people saying she doesn't deserve anything, and Beca agreed in the beginning, but with the help Chloe suggested, it got easier to forgive herself and ignore what other people had to say about it. Not all of the response was bad though, obviously if she won two Grammys, but a lot of her fans defended her actions, creating a view of her that was, like Chloe says, the equivalent of a small puppy. They argued how she did everything out of love and although Chloe agreed with that, Beca knew she did it out of pure fucking rage with some love really really deep down. The fans didn't need to know that though.

Beca turned off the lamp on the nightstand next to her and laid down, putting an arm around Chloe's sleeping body. Maybe everything happens for a reason. Life is hard but pain strengthens and Beca definitely knew Chloe was stronger, she was stronger, and their relationship was stronger than it ever was. For that, she would never regret her decision or guilt herself again. She had found her new strength.

* * *

 **THE END!**

 **I honestly don't think those songs together would make a good album lmao but I used them for the lyrics. These are who the songs are actually by:**

 **Home- Michael Buble**

 **Man Down- Rihanna**

 **Let Me Go- Hailee Steinfeld**

 **Alone- Jessie Ware**

 **I'll Find You- Lecrae ft. Tori Kelly**

 **No Peace- Sam Smith**

 **Gonna Get Better- Fifth Harmony**

 **Please leave a review if you enjoyed the story. This caused me stress to write and I'm sure it caused y'all stress to read, so help me out and write down what ya thought in that lil box down there. THANKS FOR READING!**


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